Green Eyes - Coldplay I came here with a load, And it feels so much lighter now I met you. And honey, you should know, That I could never go on without you.
Silhouettes - Of Monsters and Men There’s nothing that I’d take back, But it’s hard to say there’s nothing I regret
How’m I Supposed to Die - Civil Twilight Where am I supposed to lie if I can’t lie with you? And the flesh that used to tingle has turned to marble blue. And they tell me that we can never go back. What am I to say to that?
Balfour is not one for romantic gestures. Not romantic gestures performed for his benefit, at the very least. So to be offered a rose such as this one, it has him stumped for a few moments, has him staring. He’s a handsome man and he knows it, but he’s only really ever had propositions, only ever been invited into peoples’ beds.
To be given a gift for the sake of what he assumes to be love… it sends a tiny, fluttering feeling of fear through his chest.
Is he expected to offer something in return? Is this supposed to be some serious moment in their– can it even be called a relationship? He doesn’t know. And, honestly, he isn’t too sure if he wants to know.
"It’s a flower,“ he says, sounding like a fool. "What do you want me to do with a flower?”
“I don’t care,” he near enough snarls. His heart hurts, but he can’t let it show. He’s better than that, better than feeling broken over somebody who would leave because Balfour was making a decision for the good of all Ferelden.
And for his own rise in power. He’s a selfish bastard and now he’s paying for it.
"Let him go. Let him stay gone! If he wants to leave, then who am I to make him stay? I hope the fucking taint rots him from the inside! Why would I care about him when I’m married to somebody like Anora? He’s just a bastard. Why would I want him to stay?”
Nothing is going to be the same. He knows. He understands. But things have been changing for a while, and he’s lost far more than he could ever hope to gain back. Isn’t this just another thing to add to the list? Somebody he holds so very dear? He’ll join the ranks of the dead and the missing and the ones that despise him for the decisions he’s made.
As is the life of a Grey Warden.
Unfortunately.
"If this is what it takes to bring an end to this Blight, Alistair…“ A pause, and there’s such pain on his face that he might even be regretting the words about to leave his lips. But he’s the great Balfour Cousland. He doesn’t feel pain, doesn’t let these personal conflicts get in the way of his goals. As much as Alistair will hate him for it, for siding with a traitor over the one who has never left his side, those goals of his mean he has no other choice.
